Doing The London Thing: Solo
So what is so hard about that?......I hear you ask.
To the majority of people, travelling alone is nothing out of the ordinary, but if you suffer with a mental health issue it may be a bigger hurdle than first thought.
I was brought up travelling on the bus so I can muddle my way through most areas this way, it has enabled me at times to go places further away than I can walk to, being able to enjoy new places and not be restricted to my local area, going to cities was furthest from my mind. Lacking in confidence from the twists of life, I decided to embark on a #Journey of self-healing and confidence building by taking on the once daunting challenges, but on my own terms, in my own way, and in my own time.
The metropolis with its seas of people and crawling sinuous traffic, honking their horns in frustration almost drowned by the ambient hubbub drone of city life, has always daunted me the fear of all those jostling people, getting lost, or hurt in a busy tube station, instilled me with horror. I was never much of a city lover, always preferring wide open expanses of landscape and being amongst nature. Nor do I think I have ever seen an attraction/one-off event that I felt was of such importance to me, to attend this informal talk about #DianeArbus and her early work (conveniently, good for my course work) I thought it would give me a deeper understanding of the motivators for her photography, in a format easy for me to absorb.
This was the catalyst I needed to justify the factors involved, cost and staying overnight, as the talk was in the evening. I couldn't catch the latest train as it is the post train and takes hours, I was scared I would fall asleep and end up in Scotland or something Ha Ha Ha...
The tickets were for not only for the exhibition of 93 (first time seen in Europe) works of Diane Arbus, but also the work of #KaderAttia: The Museum of Emotion, an exhibition by the French artist centring around the capacity to think and feel thus provoking dialogue about the world in which we live. This exhibition comprises of all types of medium from his works from the last 20 years. One of the areas that Kader Attia has explored is one of repair, parts of this are quite gruesome, featuring black & white imagery of war injuries, asking us to consider not only the physical but the psychological effect of such trauma and the length of recuperation also the realisation that some were left with permanent, extensive damage from their injuries.
The talk Diane Arbus: in the Beginning was hosted by Kate Guggenheim, Jeff. L. Rosenheim (curator of the Diane Arbus collection from the Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York), and a gentleman whose name I did not catch (apologies) that studied with Diane Arbus. I think between them they are the leading knowledge on not only Diane Arbus, but many other seminal photographers of that time.
It has been thought that Diane Arbus had a political edge to her work, this was quelled during the Q&A section toward the end of the evening where a question about implied political narrative is something after the fact and not something at the time of the photograph being taken, as Diane was apolitical, this coming from a person who knew her was very interesting to me, in the way that an intention can be inferred at a later date that may have been furthest from the takers mind at the moment of capture. A majority of her early images were naive, almost snapshots, as her confidence grew so did the amount of engagement she had with her subjects, people, it has been discovered who she spent time befriending, building up a trust with them. Her images in my opinion are as much of a journey of her life, as Don McCullin photographs are of his life journey, documenting who and what they encountered day by day, for work and pleasure.
I allowed myself plenty of time to get to the Hayward Gallery for the start of the talk. The travel across London was by tube and bus, with trusty Google Maps to assist was possibly the single most nerve wracking part of the whole adventure. Feeling like people are staring at the "scared rabbit" is not a pleasant feeling (you are surrounded by giants and you are shrinking into the vortex of panic). Thankfully the station changes on the way down went well, adding to the confidence that all was going to be fine, diminishing thoughts of being a gibbering wreck in the middle of London and being a total embarrassment to myself.
To say I feel proud of doing what some would see as a pretty normal thing to do - hell yes! Not only has the trip boosted my confidence in London, on the tube system, in the crowds, but also knowing if plans don't quite go right there is an alternative and someone will help you.
Keep your eyes peeled for the next blog from #PhotographicArtistry...